She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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