don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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