Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
