Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
ttyl tear gas
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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