i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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