I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
