The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
