What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
