People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
