She said her name was "party"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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