i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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