This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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