I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
