She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
