So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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