It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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