i'm signing you up for texting rehab
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
