i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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