i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize