What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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