The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
