I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
