We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
