the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
