My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
