My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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