i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
