I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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