it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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