shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
