hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
