I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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