Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
