Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
