I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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