the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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