It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Its about making memories worth repressing
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
