He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
