Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Still dying that you shit outside
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
