I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
