I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize