Betty ford says i'm here all night
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
