one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize