Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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