What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
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At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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