yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just had sex bonerless
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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