doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
