When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
