you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
