why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
