My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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