Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize