this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
