Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
