let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
