when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
