Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
